How to find a Mentor - and why you should!
It's been over a month since #NationalMentorDay (I know, I know, it's been a busy month, alright) and the topic of mentorship has stuck with me since - what makes a good mentor? Who should be our mentor? How does a mentor differ from a Sponsor or a Coach? When can we reach out to them and how can they help us? How can we provide value to them, even? Most importantly, how to get yourself a good mentor? I don't have all the answers (no one does, let's be honest), however, I've had some incredibly wonderful mentors and will happily share some of what they shared with me over the years.
Mentor | Coach | Sponsor
Before we dive into that, though, let's talk about the basics: some of the most important people in your network will be sponsors, coaches and mentors - wait, what? Aren't they all the same thing? Not quite - while, all of them are (ideally) people you admire, respect, want to learn from and will help you build your career, that's also where the similarities end. The actual role each of them plays differs. This doesn't mean that one person can't fill multiple of them at any point in time.
A coach will talk TO you (or, more accurately, you will talk to THEM). They'll guide you through decision making processes, ask you the right questions for you to find the answers you need. We're specifically talking career coaches here, however there's coaches for many different areas in life: relationships, health, life, the list goes on!
A sponsor will talk ABOUT you. They'll drop your name when opportunities come up, they'll advocate for you when you're not in the room and they have the power to influence others. They're your champion, even in the face of resistance.
Lastly - and what we're talking about today: Mentors. A mentor will talk WITH you - providing advice and support when you're facing situations or questions you're not sure how to handle yourself. Your relationship will be based on mutual trust and while you may not always follow their advice, they'll be there to share their experiences and guide you as needed.
The three are clearly not mutually exclusive - however, a person will usually be playing only one role at any one point. So, how to find a mentor? Spoiler - you may already have one (or many) without even realizing! As we go through our career, we often establish relationships built on trust with people in or outside of our industry, senior colleagues, people we reach out to for advice when faced with opportunities or challenges. Think about it - the last time you faced a challenge, who did you reach out to? Who did you sit down with recently for a Coffee Chat to learn from them and their experiences? Those are your mentors! Those relationships - like, I'd wager the absolute majority of mentoring relationships - are informal mentoring relationships. They fill the requirements of your mentor providing advice, guidance, sharing experiences and more, however neither of you has ever formally established it as an official "Mentor - Mentee" Relationship.
You already have Mentors - but you can build more
If that's all you're looking for, then you're done - you've got your mentors already! However, I'd urge you to keep reading and take it a step further: Formalize the relationship and turn it into an "official" Mentoring relationship. Formalizing the relationship will automatically make you both more committed. They'll become more invested in you and your career, can hold you accountable, can support you better because you've not just asked them for one-off advice, but by asking them for continued support you've given them permission to do so, to get more involved and to work with you on a more personal basis. On the other hand, you'll be more committed to your goals, you'll have a "safety net" to fall back on whenever faced with a difficult decision.
Identify your Mentor
First things first: Identify who you'd like to formally be your mentor. Ideally, they'll be someone you've already built a relationship with and that have provided you with advice or guidance previously. You've established that you're "on the same wavelength" and get along well. They've ideally reached goals in their career that you'd like to reach at some point or have gone through similar experiences that you're facing.
Pop the question!
(Get it? Excuse me, I’ve been thinking of wedding planning so it’s on my mind ;)
I’m getting off track though - Once you've picked the person you'd like to mentor you, the easiest thing to do so is to just ask. As simple as it sounds, as difficult as that may be - just go ahead and ask them if they'd be your mentor.
Simple? Indeed. Difficult? Also, yes, indeed. The first time I asked someone to be my mentor I was incredibly nervous - I had no idea how they'd react, whether they'd even be interested, or whether they'd care enough. Plot twist - turns out, they were actually quite happy and honored to be asked (who would've seen that coming, right?). It turned out to be one of the best things I could've done for my career and to this day we're still talking regularly. Over the years we've become close friends as I worked with them repeatedly on various projects - and they're still one of the first people I reach out to when needing advice.
Go get it!
If you've been waiting for a sign - this is it! Reach out to them, ask them to be your mentor and let me know how it goes!